Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She had a lot of bills to pay so she decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman.
The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie, "Yeah I have a job for you. How would you like to paint my porch for fifty dollars?" Julie was delighted, "Sure, I'll do that for fifty dollars", she replied.
"Great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage", said the man.
The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening to their discussion. "Fifty bucks! Does she know that the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.
"Well, of course she does, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed. "You painted the whole porch?" he asked.
"Yep," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.
"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porshe, it's a Ferrari".
A blonde woman is driving along a country road, out in rolling hills of the Midwest, when she sees some movement off in the distance. As she gets closer, she realizes that it is another blonde woman in a rowboat in the middle of a field rowing the boat like crazy.
She stops her car at the side of the road and gets out. She yells out to the blonde in the rowboat, "What the &$%# are you doing?" The blonde in the boat, obviously flustered, yells back, "I have got to hurry up and get home in time for dinner or I will be in real trouble!"
The blonde at the side of the road is aggravated. "I can't believe this! You are out in the middle of a field in a row boat! It's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name!
In fact, if I could swim, I would swim out there and kick your butt!"
Five blondes go into a bar and one of them says to the bartender, "A round of drinks for me and my friends." They get their drinks and the raise their glasses to a toast of, "To 51 days!" and they drink. The "head blonde" asks the bartender to set them up again. Again, the blondes toast "To 51 days!" and they drink. After they order a third round, the bartender says that he has to ask what the toast means. The head blonde says, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. On the box it said, "two to four years" and we finished it in 51 days".
There was this blonde who bought a coach ticket to go to Chicago. She boards the plane and sits in the first class area. The stewardess comes over and says "ma'am your ticket says coach you must move to the coach area". The blonde says "I'm blonde beautiful and going to Chicago". The stewardess says "you must move to the coach area". The blonde says "I'm blonde beautiful and going to Chicago". The stewardess goes over and gets the head stewardess. The head stewardess comes over and says "ma'am you must move to coach." The blonde says "I'm blonde beautiful and going to Chicago". The stewardesses look at each other and decide to go get the captain. The captain comes over and says" ma'am your ticket says coach you must move to the coach area". The blonde says "I'm blonde beautiful and going to Chicago". The captain shakes his head and bends down and whispers in her ear. All of a sudden she jumps up grabs her luggage and goes over to the coach area. The stewardesses look at each other and ask the captain "What did you say to her?" The captain says " I told her first class wasn't going to Chicago."
