THE BEST OF REAL COUNTRY MUSIC TITLES...

  1. DROP KICK ME JESUS, THROUGH THE GOALPOSTS OF LIFE
  2. I KEEP FORGETTIN' I FORGOT ABOUT YOU
  3. I WOULD HAVE WROTE YOU A LETTER, BUT I COULDN'T SPELL YUCK
  4. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY
  5. HOW CAN YOU BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I LOVE YOU WHEN YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN A LIAR ALL MY LIFE
  6. I CHANGED HER OIL, SHE CHANGED MY LIFE
  7. GET YOUR BISCUITS IN THE OVEN AND YOUR BUNS IN THE BED
  8. I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO KILL MYSELF OR GO BOWLING
  9. I FELL IN A PILE OF YOU AND GOT LOVE ALL OVER ME
  10. I FLUSHED YOU FROM THE TOILETS OF MY HEART

  11. I WOULDN'T TAKE HER TO A DAWG FIGHT, CAUSE I'M AFRAID SHE'D WIN
  12. I WOULD RATHER HAVE A BOTTLE IN FRONT OF ME THAN A FRONTAL LOBOTOMY
  13. I'M JUST A BUG ON THE WINDSHIELD OF LIFE
  14. I'M THE ONLY HELL MAMA EVER RAISED
  15. I'VE BEEN FLUSHED FROM THE BATHROOM OF YOUR HEART
  16. IF I CAN'T BE NUMBER ONE IN YOUR LIFE, THEN NUMBER TWO TO YOU
  17. IF LOVE WERE OIL, I'D BE A QUART LOW
  18. YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR KATE AND EDITH TOO
  19. HER TEETH WERE STAINED, BUT HER HEART WAS PURE
  20. IF MY NOSE WERE FULL OF NICKELS, I'D BLOW IT ALL ON YOU

  21. IF YOU DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE, I'LL GO AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL
  22. IF YOU LEAVE ME, CAN I COME TOO?
  23. MY EVERY DAY SILVER IS PLASTIC
  24. MY JOHN DEERE WAS BREAKING YOUR FIELD, WHILE YOUR DEAR JOHN WAS BREAKING MY HEART
  25. MY WIFE RAN OFF WITH MY BEST FRIEND, AND I SURE DO MISS HIM
  26. SHE GOT THE GOLD MINE AND I GOT THE SHAFT
  27. SHE GOT THE RING AND I GOT THE FINGER
  28. SHE MADE TOOTHPICKS OUT OF THE TIMBER OF MY HEART
  29. SHE'S GOT FRECKLES ON HER, BUT SHE'S PRETTY
  30. THANK GOD AND GREYHOUND SHE'S GONE

  31. THEY MAY PUT ME IN PRISON, BUT THEY CAN'T STOP MY FACE FROM BREAKIN' OUT
  32. VELCRO ARMS, TEFLON HEART
  33. WHEN YOU LEAVE WALK OUT BACKWARDS, SO I'LL THINK YOU'RE WALKING IN
  34. YOU CAN'T ROLLERSKATE IN A BUFFALO HERD
  35. YOU DONE TORE OUT MY HEART AND STOMPED THAT SUCKER FLAT
  36. YOU WERE ONLY A SPLINTER AS I SLID DOWN THE BANNISTER OF LIFE
  37. YOU'RE THE REASON OUR KIDS ARE SO UGLY